The end of 2007 and the beginning of 2008 has not been so kind to me in the world of Hollywood. Yes, my celebrity girlfriend, Jessica Alba, is pregnant. I thought I could deal with it, but now she is also engaged. I was informed by The Graphics Department that I had to pick a new celebrity girlfriend, seeing as how the future Mrs. Cash Warren is no longer available.
So, I am in need of some help from the readers. Who will my next celebrity girlfriend be? The Graphics Department suggested that I should go with Nicole from The Pussy Cat Dolls. I like the suggestion, but I don't want to just throw myself at the first celebrity I see. I am picky about these things.
I am also told that I can absolutely not go after a blonde. But, I am trying to think of someone that is blonde that just blows me away like Jessica Alba. Sure, she wore her hair blond every-so-often, but who doesn't these days?
One of my favorites lately has been Maggie Q. Why? I don't really know, but she seems lovable. She seems like she could use a guy like me to make her my celebrity girlfriend. Ms Q was also in "Live Free or Die Hard" and she was quite the ass-kicker. I like a celebrity girlfriend that could protect me if needed. She also has a funny side, as she was in the comedy "Balls of Fury." So, she has a ninja side, a funny side, and she is easy on the eye. I am torn as to what to do. Any suggestions and links to my possible new celebrity girlfriend are much appreciated.
|
Comments
First, you are lucking out, I hear from a completely unreliable source that Alba contracted herpes several years back in a nonsexual situation. Second, I know you like women of color, so maybe you should look at Indira Varma. She is A Brit Indian with a twist of Swiss and I think that is a new one for you. You see, everybody says I am an asshole but here I am looking out for you...
How about Jessica Biehl? At least she's not blonde.